My. Don't update for a day and everybody pitches a fit.

I am fine. I was busy being a Good Girlfriend and spending some quality time with my Boy watching movies. Arachnophobia which blew even harder than I thought it would and not in a funny way, just in a bad you-can-see-every-single-scene-coming way. Turned that off and watched Gods and Monsters which was a bit of a disappointment given the hype and I also now know why it is that Brendan Fraser only gets terrible parts in terrible movies: he is a terrible actor. And also blame Bot who kept me up chatting on AIM and I am not so good at the multitasking that I can update and chat simultaneously. Because that goes sort of like this: write six words, oh, IM icon blinky blinky, go to AIM, type "okay" or "oh" depending on chatter's comment, back to writing, blinky blinky, DAMMIT, "okay", back to writing, type eight and a half words, blinky blinky...etc. And then you start to resent the person you're chatting with which is dumb because the entire reason that you're chatting with them in the first place is because you like them. And no, Bot, I don't mean you -- I gave up even trying with the updating and chatting at the same time a while ago.

As time goes by I rack up more funny Googles. I haven't mentioned them because nearly all of them so far have pertained to "old lady feet" or "lady's feet". I am assuming these are weird foot fetish people, not people with bunion problems or anything. But today I got "fuck the lady boss". hee. I must have been a terrible disappointment, even if a precise match. I'm really waiting for "disco purple love monkey", but I'm afraid most googlers aren't that creative.

And a note to MG -- the way google works is that it ranks pages higher that have more links to them in the world. Does that make sense? Basically the theory is that if a page is popular enough to have a bunch of links to it, it is theoretically more informative/useful than one with none. And this generally works in practice, too. There are also some complex calculations based on which links in response to which queries were clicked more than others. Anyway my point to that was to say that if you'll notice, you started getting googled around about the same time as people started linking to you more and more. So the googles will increase as more links exist to your site.

Have I mentioned that I am a veritable treasure trove of largely useless information? I probably have. And someone suggested that this would come in handy at Trivial Pursuit. Unfortunately, Trivial Pursuit largely stays in the realm of pop knowledge, not things like complicated medical problems, plagues, pesticides, or supply-chain management. However, I do kick ass at Trivial Pursuit, but for a different reason: because I had an unbelievably boring childhood/early adolescence.

One of the things A. and I did while desperately awaiting a line to free up at our BBS was read Trivial Pursuit cards. Not PLAY Trivial Pursuit, just read the damn cards. Kind of pathetic now that I think about it. And even so I really, really always sucked at the entertainment and sports categories. I do trump nearly every other person in the world at the science and literature categories, however. I suck at geography, big-time.

Heh. That makes me remember something. Which may help me turn this entry into more than just aimless rambling.

My first and only Mensa meeting.

I believe I was about 14 or so. My parents' old friend who was eventually to become my therapist was a member of Mensa, largely to stay on their newsletter list. I can't vouch for the quality of their newsletter since I never actually joined. Anyway, she thought it might be fun for me to go to their games night.

Anybody else ever been to a Mensa meeting? We're talking lowest common social denominator here. I'm surprised no one showed up in a star trek uniform. At fourteen, as dysfunctional and depressed as I was, I was WAY advanced in the, say, conversational department compared to these people. It was like a big room full of Stereotype. I might have been an extra on Revenge of the Nerds for all you could tell. Except that I would have been an extra on the side of the un-Nerds, comparitively, given my mohawk and other punk rock accoutrements.

Games night. On Games Night, a game-playing Person, presumably some sort of master or tournament-winner or whathaveyou comes in and teaches the group a new game. That night it was Go.

Now Go is actually an amazingly cool game that I suck at harder than you can imagine. I am terrible at it. I like it, in theory, but even the computer Go programs can beat me and that's saying a lot. Go is so complicated -- not in rules, but in what it takes to win -- that no one has yet managed to build a computer that can even come close to beating a Go master. Unlike, as everyone knows, chess. It's at least an order of magnitude more complex than chess, probably more. Which means that it would take (let's see if I get this right, probably not, given my many-times mentioned math-suckiness, correct me if I'm wrong people) 10 to the second power Deep Blues to beat a Go master. Or is that 2 to the tenth power? Can't recall. Whatver. A LOT of them. In Japan men spend their entire lives playing Go and typically do not reach the level of master until their eighties. Are you getting the idea here?

Good, because now I get to tell you that I didn't really play any Go that night. Hee. Well, I think I participated in one game. Then I moved away to the Trivial Pursuit group who were definitely the least socially inept bunch in the room.

At which point I kicked some major Mensa ass. I wanted a trophy. I beat down a group so snobby about their big ass brains that they publish stupid puzzles in games magazine etc. Ha! Take that, Mensa! And they weren't even rejecting me. For years I got mail from Mensa begging me to join. It costs FORTY BUCKS (probably more now) a YEAR to join Mensa! Fuck that! I was fourteen! I didn't have no forty bucks. Besides, they wanted me to join so bad, they shoulda paid ME. And the only reason they wanted me was because my IQ was a ways higher than their bottom-line. Thpft. I hold my IQ in no particular regard, and my level of attachment to a group that uses that as its only criteria for selection is nil. Never mind the star trek uniforms. Yes, that's right, I am being snobby at the snobs. Ha ha ha.

Ever seen Trekkies? It's hilarious, you should. Anyway, that's Mensa. In a nutshell. That also described whole bunches of my college friends, but at least they had some redeeming qualities above and beyond their IQs.

Oh, and Jesus's Son (prior entry)? It was good, but the ending was pretty disappointing. Also what happens to the hot chick is really predictable and I couldn't even be sad about it. But, I felt really, really stupid when I finally realized what the title was from. I thought originally it was going to be a movie about a new messiah in some form or another. At least implying something along those lines. Wasn't, really, though there were a few overtones here and there. The title is, of course, from the Lou Reed song "Heroin" -- it's my life, and it's my wife, heroiiiiiiiiiiiiiin...blah blah makes me FEEL just like Jesus's Son...etc. Duh. I felt like quite the dummy about that given that I really like that song. Ah, hell, now I want to HEAR that song.

Is anybody else really cranky about being touched in the morning? I get up and my Boy frequently wants to be all affectionate and it makes me grumpy. At least he's understanding about it. I don't know why, exactly, but it really bugs me. I just don't want to be all smothered first thing in the morning. Especially not before I've gotten through my dog-walk/Daily News/first cigarette/coffee/pooping routine. In that order.

More later. I've rambled on enough for now.

onehanded