This will be very short.

I fell quite ill yesterday for unknown reasons. Spent all afternoon in bed nursing a very icky tummy and very dizzy head. Spent all evening in front of the tv. Attempted to deal with computer a few times but the combination of sitting up and focusing caused me to feel more ill so gave up, hence no update.

Feel much better today, which is a very good thing because it's really the actual extremely last minute for me to buy the presents of which to date I have NONE.

I'm still trying to figure out whether it was a good or bad idea for me to eat as much Dramamine as I did last night. I took quite a lot because it helps my tummy but one of the unfortunate side effects of quantity is some sort of weird muscle spasmy stuff. So the end result was more dizzy and having to lie down in the shower (my major nausea remedy) but then getting sleepy enough to go to bed way earlier than I would have otherwise after sleeping until like 6pm. Except that after lying down and before actually falling asleep I was doing this whole bad sort of compulsive flipping over every minute or so. Thankfully the Boy was already very asleep (he sleeps quite deeply). And happily I fell asleep quickly and assume that the flipping business stopped when I did.

Also I would probably still be terribly nauseous and dizzy this morning if I hadn't.

One of these days my kidneys are just going to walk out on me. I'm going to come home and there will be a little note that says something along the lines of "we can take no more of this abuse. We have left you for good and we're not telling you where we're staying. If you attempt to contact us in any way we will call the police".

And then I'll have to go make that urban legend true by luring a man into my apartment and drugging him and stealing his kidneys. Actually I suppose I would have to get lured into his apartment given the fact that I highly doubt my ability to efficiently dispose of a kidney-less person.

Well, this is getting longer than I thought it would be.

So, yeah. I am not happy about having to face manhattan crowds on xmas eve. I'm going to Soho which is typically a madhouse but because all of the stores are way smaller than, say, the horror that is Macy's I can usually bargain on shorter lines.

And facing Manhattan today I guess is way better than facing my family tomorrow sans-presents. If it gets too bad I'm just going to go make a donation to some fund or something in their names and call it a present.

I had honestly planned to just order everything online but then it got to be last Thursday and somebody mentioned xmas eve being today and I was like MONDAY?? You're shitting me. But they weren't, and now I'm all kinds of screwed.

Well, I think I have typed enough complaining to call this an entry and go face what must be faced. After showering, that is.

Since at the moment every single hair I own is both curling and trying its damndest to escape from my head making me look like a cross between the bride of frankenstein and a white don king. And my morning breath after yesterday's sick could wake the dead.

Now, granted, these could be potential advantages in the shopping arena, since I might be able to terrify other patrons into getting out of my way, but I'm not going to have time to come back home before going to my parents' for xmas eve, and I don't want to terrify them, well, not really.

I'll be online tomorrow after doing the compulsory waking up too goddamn early to go to my folks' house so we can open presents on xmas morn. My mother is funny about that sort of thing. We simply -can't- just do it tonight, it's "not the same", which means that I have to come home tonight, get up stupid early, and haul my tired ass (and Boy's tired ass) into manhattan in order to open presents that a., I already know what they are and b., could certainly wait until some reasonable time to open. Including, if necessary, many days after christmas. But nooooo.

Enough with the procrastination.

Ass is now about to be schlepped to shower, then, sparkly clean, into the hell that I, the absolutely-last-minute-shopper, must face.

Hope everyone has a lovely eve and all. Or not, if you're not doing this whole xmas thing, in which case have a lovely perfectly ordinary night.

- onehanded