Wow. Not a single guestbook entry/comment on that last one. Oh well.

Anyway. I feel a little guilty. Seems like everyone, especially migraine and the shivers, are in a funk at the moment. First, love to both...you kick ass and you should kick this funk's ass pronto.

But moving on. I finally feel a bit like my own personal funk is heading out.

I suppose it's strange to most of the people I know how deeply my moods are tied in with our company. But it's among the most important things in my life. In many ways, it IS my life. This is not for most people, I understand that. And it's not even the work. The work is fine. The work is *easy*, really.

It's that when we're doing well, it makes everything else that much easier. But when it's hard, as it has been for over a year now, it makes everything else TEN times harder. One starts to think of everything in terms of the business. Especially since my Boy is my business partner. It's not even a love/hate relationship with the company. It just IS. I honestly cannot any longer imagine working somewhere else, for somebody else. And if I did, I can't imagine that it wouldn't just be a holding pen for when I could get out on my own again. This means so much to me. The team means so much to me. I try to tell them that as much as I can. But when I'm down, it can't help but affect them, even when I try to be perky about it.

I'd like to think some karma has come into play.

An old client called me up yesterday about something completely new. I thought she and her old company hated us. It was a bizarre relationship. We did what we said we would, on time and on budget. And their IT department was basically a fourteen-year-old MCSE. In other words, for the non-geeky readers, he was a baby know-nothing. And he was our main liason.

Somewhere towards the end of the project, after many difficulties with aforementioned kiddo, they sort of stopped speaking to us. Didn't take our calls. We were very much in the dark.

Some months later, their site closed down, forever, apparently. It would seem that they basically sort of quit being, not necessarily quit dealing with us. It was all kinds of weird. I mean, we've had relationships go sour, and this wasn't like this. But I was always sort of under the impression that they didn't like us much anymore.

So I get a call yesterday from an ex-executive from there. And she remembers us, and tells me that we were "fabulous", and that it was all their fault that the project got all fucked up, and she wants to talk to me about a new thing.

This didn't *even* make my day. It made my fucking MONTH. It has been so hard lately. And it's been hard for me personally to get up the energy even to do anything about it. To deal. I mean, I've dealt, but in a sort of peripheral fashion. And most of you read about my evil december.

So, okay, I've blathered about work for a whole two entries. I'm sorry. It's just that right now I'm feeling so much better about the whole thing than I was even 24 hours ago. Not that things will automatically get better. But that even a little tiny positive sign has made me happier, made me feel more like I can DO something again.

In other news. The Boy is still sick. Exploding snot and all that. Turtleguy is ignoring my pleas to expound completely. Migrainegirl has receded and I do not believe that is a good thing. You all should go wave at her. MG: Dammit, come out of your hole. Bot seems to be doing well, happily. Shivers is in a funk, as I mentioned before.

Grr. I finally start to perk up and nobody's here to perk along with me. Ain't it always the way? To quote Susanne Susannahdanna (sp?), it's always *something*.

We're waiting for sushi to come.

I'm trying to cram in an update because Boy wants to hang out with me after food.

I had drinks with Friend from previous update. Never broached any subject that was more difficult than my pets. Fuck it. I don't want to jinx my day.

Tomorrow have to go to Jersey for LONG day of meetings with Happy Large Unnamed Client. Driving down with presumed crushing client representative. Eh. He's loaning me a book...the memoirs of Alan Lomax. To shiv: No, I don't know that guy you mentioned, and thank you SO much for giving me Hasil's proper spelling which I ALWAYS misspell, but damn, another lover of Hasil?? We're about as rare as the dodo. You know he lives in a shack, right?

That's it for now. I'll probably be around later. Sine, say hi sometime on aim, okay?

- onehanded