DUDE! You so have to check out my guestbook. Look for the entry in ALL CAPS. I do give Mr. Horsefucker credit for at least proper spelling, if a total lack of appropriate punctuation.

See, it really ought to read like this: Get a life, wench! No one cares about your online diary. Who the hell keeps an online diary? Why, some self-indulgent piece of male-hating trash, that's who!

** Edited, because I looked at the page he came in through ** -- this gets even funnier. The male-hating entry Duke Horsefucker hit was this one: http://onehanded.diaryland.com/011206_56.html -- and he read no others, since there were too few pageviews for that -- wherein I bitch about the Boy's Grand Theft Auto Snit. And complain about how long it takes Boys to get ready to leave the house. I laugh. I mean, really. I have SO many other *honestly* anti-male entries, and THIS is the one that set off that all-capitalized guestbook entry? What a life The Honorable Horsefucker must lead.

Mr. Horsefucker came here via a search for "UTERAL NOISES" (also in all-caps. Methinks Sir Horsefucker has some issues in the capitalization department.)

Now, one would imagine that a search for "uteral noises" would be aimed at pregnancy, but honestly that should really be "fetal noises". "Uteral noises", I am guessing, would result in a far larger number of weird shit and medical problem results.

He lives in South Georgia, and uses Rose.net, likely for dial-up since it looks like a dynamic IP. Most likely, he lives in Thomasville or the surrounding area, since Rose.net looks extremely regional. It would have been way funnier if he had been searching for "albino midget", but alack alas, such is not the case.

Although, that does remind me of something I've been meaning to do for a while. Because these horrific people deserve everything I can possibly cause them to get. Thus, the completely not at all funny googles:

From AOL via fucking WEB FUCKING TV: "men fucking little babies" -- IP address: 64.12.105.42, accessed at 4:16am CST 3/16/2002. Using WebTV with the following serial information: Philips; PH200; 1; R2.0C36_AOL.0110OPTIK; R2.0.0139d_OPTIK. Note to person who should go kill self RIGHT NOW: AOL and WebTV log EVERYTHING YOU DO. I hope they find your ass.

From adelphia.net: "girl+vagina 13+year+old +pictures" -- IP address: 68.64.186.202, accessed at 3:40pm 3/21/2002. From the Eastern Standard timezone. Using Windows 98 and Internet Explorer 6.0.

From San Benito/Hollister, CA: "13 year-old vagina pictures" -- IP address: 63.163.18.179, accessed at 1:30pm PST 3/19/2002. Using Windows 98 and Internet Explorer 5.5.

From Australia: "young girls bbs" -- IP address: 203.54.73.8, accessed at 6:10pm UTC+11 3/19/2002. Using Windows 98 and Internet Explorer 6.0.

From AOL: "13 year old fuckers" -- IP address: 152.163.197.66, accessed at 7:34pm EST 3/18/2002. Using Windows 2000 and AOL Internet Explorer 6.0. Note to child molester: AOL logs all of your AOL activity, including chat rooms and instant messages. I hope they catch you and rip your balls off.

In the super-specific illegal and horrible fetish department, from cox.net: "horses+fucking+13+year+old+girls" 4:32pm MST 3/13/2002. Using Windows 98 and Internet Explorer 5.5.

"wife sucking brother" is disgusting but no children are involved so I am not compelled to spit out any further data. I am suspicious that my many, many tampon-related queries are also pedophiles, but since I cannot be certain that these are not perfectly innocent pubescent females, I won't post their info.

All you people, please, I beg of you, go kill yourselves now. The world has no need for you. Really, I'm not kidding. You are NOT NEEDED. You are not worth the food you prevent others from eating, the air you consume, the pollution your car generates. I pray you are not married and that you do not have children, now or ever. If you act on your impulses, I hope you are killed, slowly and painfully.